It was early morning when you left.
And maybe if I had not fallen in need of you so much
the walking away would not have been so ugly
There in the places that once housed tenderness
something more like fear had found its way in.
So I thought it would be over,
losing my hands along with you.
And, true, for a while I didn't walk quite right,
bones all heavier then I remembered them to be.
The standing was hard, and the morning light didn't know me anymore;
but somewhere the fight had become the surrender.
And then I watched you leave.

Watching You Leave addresses the concept of abandonment using nude self-portraiture to explore the vulnerability, pain, and eventual healing that can evolve out of the moment of rejection. This series of seven oil paintings is derived from experiences with abandonment and loss from both personal and collective perspectives.

On a daily basis we are involved in many interpersonal relations where we are given opportunities to reach out, yet we end up ignoring one another. We cut interactions short; we ask "how are you" without waiting to hear the answer; we turn away from a homeless man on the street instead of at least offering him a smile; we too quickly assume that we cannot take effective action for people in places like Darfur. This state of anomie and isolation has become part of the social air that we breathe, and now goes nearly undetected, except for the whiffs ot loneliness that surface every now and then. It is as if we are all aching for fuller connections, but we do not know where to begin.

My work is an attempt to display and commemorate the pain of these moments of abandonment (both small and large). In addition, by exposing my own sense of loss and rejection, I am seeking to begin a more genuine dialogue with others. By creating and presenting these paintings (which I have chosen to make quite personal), I am constructing a moment of interaction wherein I am opening myself up, showing my vulnerability, in the hopes that the viewer (you) will meet me with an equal yearning for truer human connection.